Want to be happier? You may need to think more about death

Want to be happier? You may need to think more about death

Want to be happier You may need – CNN’s original series “Kara Swisher Wants to Live Forever” documents the journalist’s quest to understand the modern movement toward extended life. Through interviews and exploration, Swisher examines the people and ideas redefining the quest for longevity. The series also highlights her personal approach to wellness, which includes a daily ritual of reflecting on mortality. This practice, inspired by Bhutanese traditions, aims to cultivate happiness and lessen anxiety about the inevitable end of life.

While the idea of contemplating death might seem counterintuitive to happiness, Swisher argues it’s a powerful tool. She incorporates quotes about mortality into her routine, not out of morbid fascination, but as a way to anchor herself in the present. Bhutan, known for its focus on “gross national happiness”, has developed methods to integrate awareness of death into everyday life. One such technique involves mentally acknowledging the end of life five times a day, a habit Swisher has adopted to maintain balance and perspective.

Research on Mortality Awareness

Studies suggest that regularly thinking about death can significantly impact emotional well-being. A 2007 investigation found that individuals who engage with mortality-related thoughts are better able to focus on positive emotions. This shift in mindset isn’t just theoretical—it can lead to tangible benefits. Similarly, a 2017 study linked open discussions about death to reduced anxiety, showing that acknowledging the end of life can provide psychological relief.

Dr. Brian Carpenter, a professor of psychological and brain sciences at Washington University in St. Louis, explains that many people, especially in the United States, avoid conversations about death. This avoidance, he says, can create a sense of fear and unpreparedness. “When you accept death, it promotes community and meaning,” Swisher remarked. “You’re not going to be here forever. What are you going to do with the time you have?” By confronting mortality, individuals may gain clarity about their priorities and actions.

“To say that every human fears death is not accurate, because lots of folks don’t actually fear the ending of life,” said Dr. Erin Emery-Tiburcio, a geropsychologist at Rush University in Chicago. “But most of us fear the suffering that might come near the end.”

Emery-Tiburcio emphasizes that the fear of death often stems from cultural narratives. In many societies, aging is portrayed as a decline rather than a transition. This perception can influence how people approach their later years, making them anticipate pain and loss. “If I focus on that fear, I am not likely to take care of myself,” she added. “Focusing on the things we can control also goes a long way.”

The cultural lens shapes not only individual attitudes but also collective experiences. When younger generations grow up without exposure to older adults living vibrant, fulfilling lives, they may internalize negative stereotypes about aging. These beliefs can create a cycle of anxiety, where fear of the future diminishes the joy of the present. Emery-Tiburcio argues that redefining aging as a positive phase is crucial for mental and physical health.

Embracing a positive outlook on aging can lead to healthier outcomes. A 2002 study demonstrated that individuals with favorable views of their aging process were more likely to live longer. This isn’t to suggest that challenges like illness or loss are ignored, but rather that they are accepted as part of a broader, dynamic experience. “Bereavement absolutely can be painful, and watching your loved one suffer can be painful, but it’s also an opportunity to say all the things you want to say,” Emery-Tiburcio noted. “It’s also an opportunity to leave a legacy. It’s an opportunity to leave behind whatever isn’t important to you.”

Swisher’s approach aligns with this philosophy. She believes that even a small amount of fear about death can be transformative when harnessed correctly. “There’s nothing wrong if you feel afraid of dying or afraid of death,” Carpenter said. “The second step is to figure out, ‘Well, what do I do with those feelings? … How do I take that fear and make something positive out of it?’” This mindset allows people to turn their anxieties into motivation for living more meaningfully.

Preparing for death involves more than just psychological readiness—it’s about practical and emotional preparation. Carpenter highlights the importance of organizing affairs, discussing end-of-life wishes with loved ones, and using the present time wisely. “That’s because you recognize that you don’t have forever to do what is important to you,” he said. These steps can help individuals create a sense of control and purpose, even in the face of uncertainty.

Some cultures have structured ways to address mortality, such as rituals for grief or ceremonies for the afterlife. These practices encourage people to confront death openly, fostering resilience and wisdom. In contrast, societies that shy away from discussing the end of life may leave individuals unprepared. “Going through those experiences when you lose a loved one and addressing them with your community rather than sweeping the difficult feelings under the rug may help you learn useful lessons about your own life,” Carpenter added.

The benefits of mortality awareness extend beyond personal reflection. It can strengthen relationships, deepen gratitude, and encourage proactive health habits. By integrating death into daily consciousness, people may find themselves more attuned to life’s fleeting nature. This doesn’t mean dwelling on negativity, but rather recognizing that mortality is a natural part of existence.

Swisher’s journey underscores the idea that happiness and longevity are intertwined with a willingness to confront the end of life. While it may feel daunting to think about death, the evidence suggests it can be a catalyst for positive change. By acknowledging the impermanence of life, individuals are empowered to make the most of their time. This perspective, she argues, is essential in navigating the complexities of aging and ensuring a meaningful, fulfilling life.

Ultimately, the practice of reflecting on mortality isn’t about fear alone. It’s about transformation. As Carpenter explains, the goal is to turn that fear into something constructive. “You don’t have to eliminate your fear to begin the process,” he said. “What matters is how you respond to it.” This response can shape not only individual well-being but also the way communities approach life, death, and everything in between.